A Person Who Disbelief Himself

Can anyone ask yourself do you believe in yourself? Many of us would probably believe in themselves, at least in their own abilities. However there is still a small number of people who don’t even believe in themselves, I mean don’t believe in their own abilities. So are you saying that this group of people is going to be a failure for life forever? Condemn? Really? Well, not that I know of.. there is one exception..

There was once a person called Michael that he won’t believe in himself since young. No matter how his peers, parents or teachers encouraged him he still doubted his own ability. He is a person that gives up easily and feel discouraged and sad after that. His parents brought him to see a psychologist but that didn’t help him at all. In fact he became more paranoid with anxiety that lead to depression. He had become a depressed person. Was it something wrong with his brain or mind? Or was it something else not fully understood in modern medicine?

The symptom got worse and his parents again brought him to see the Brain Doctor or a Psychiatrist. The doctor examined him and even did some brain scanning but nothing unusual was found. Someone then suggested his parents to go and consult a priest in the temple. So one day his parents brought him to see a priest in one of the city renowned temple. The priest looked at him, read his palm and asked some questions from his parents and Michael. Is Michael being possessed by some kind of an unknown ‘spirit’? A ghost? Is he possessed? Is it that demonic? Or is there any problem with him?

At first the priest could not tell what happened to him. His parents gave an account of Michael’s childhood as he tend to have nightmares and sometimes it was so bad that he would scream in the night and became scared all day. His parents also asked the priest whether did he offended any gods or spirits in the past? The priest could not tell but asked them to come at a later date. When they left, the priest went to see the abbot and told him about Michael’s condition. The abbot was a busy man but for the sake for sentient beings sufferings he would like to meet up with Michael and his parents at convenient time for all parties.

On that appointment day, the abbot just have a quick glance on what was going on in Michael’s body, observed his reactions. It seems like Michael was normal nothing unusual. The abbot talked to Michael and the conversations went as per normal – there was nothing wrong with it! No ghost or spirit possession, no psychological problems, no ill-fate, then what’s the problem? Michael looked depressed. Everyone was puzzled. The abbot just asked Michael and his parents to do some prayers to the Medicine Buddha and left the temple.

On that very night, while Michael was asleep he dreamt that long time ago he was a devotee of a certain sect telling others to forsake their own faith and belief system but to join and follow his belief. This could have caused some karmic effect on him now doubting his own ability, was it a sin? He was not sure. The next day his parents and Michael went to consult the abbot. The abbot smiled and told Michael that probably this could be his past lives karma, just need to repent and recite the Medicine Buddha’s mantra to atone his past sins or misdeeds. Michael accepted the abbot’s advice and from then onwards his self-doubt and easily gave up attitude day by day was reduced. Till this day, Michael still practicing chanting his mantra and living as a happy person.